Confessions of a Fantasy Author – Rob J. Hayes

This is my new weekly blog spot where I invite a fantasy author over to confess to everyone their sins. It’s a new thing so for my first confession slot I will be the Heretic! Feel free to judge me.

 

  • When I was younger so much younger than today… I wrote Star Wars fan fiction. It was awful, but had lots of lightsabers. I cast myself as a Jedi… these days I’m fairly certain I’m more Sith.

 

  • I used to participate on a Blade (the Marvel hero) inspired forum where I would interact in character and write co-write stories with other members. The setting was based in a pub in London called ‘Our Absinthe Friends’. My character was an Angel by the name of Exodus.

 

  • When I was 14 I wrote a story inspired by the film Falling Down. I called it ‘Cheese Burger, No Salad’, and it was the first story I ever let others read and sent it to a literary competition. It did not do very well. You can read it in all it’s unedited glory here.

 

  • My first real attempt at original fiction was made after reading Maggie Furey’s Artefacts of Power series. It was basically a Dungeons and Dragons style adventure… and it was so awful I myself got bored of it half way through the 1st dungeon.

 

  • I used to write Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan fiction in penpal letters to a friend. She never asked for them, I just used to write a new story in each letter. I sincerely hope she has cast them into the fires of the Hellmouth.

 

  • Even after publishing 8 books I still have very little clue on how to actually use a semi-colon. Thank fuck for editors!

 

  • I’ve never been to a literary convention. This is because I am awful at talking about my books in person. When people ask I tend to respond in 1 of 2 ways.  A) “I don’t know. It’s about witch hunters and magic and demons and shit.” or B) Sweats profusely and looks around for the nearest bar.

 

  • My characters have a habit of running into bakeries in my stories (literally and figuratively). This was not originally by design, but rather just my love of baked goods seeping into my imagination. It is now a little bit by design.

 

So those are my confessions. Bless me, audience, for I have sinned.

2 Comments

  1. Reply

    I try to use semicolons occasionally, but always give up and rewrite the sentence instead. I’ve never managed to get my head around them.

    • Rob

      I do that as well. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve tested one of the damned things in a few different places, then given up and just re-written the whole thing. 😀

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